Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Coffee! You Can Sleep When You're Dead!

Oh Vanilla Biscotti Folgers Coffee, wherefore art thou? Why has thou caused my coffee pot to explode, spreading your caffeinated goodness all over the office counter, leaving my handcrafted mug of happiness empty and wanting? Oh poorly made coffee maker, how you vex me!

Have you ever awakened to the sound of bagpipes, only to realize that you just woke up 5 minutes before you were supposed to be at work, and you have a 30 minute commute, your shirt is not ironed, and you really, REALLY need to shave, take a shower, and properly spike up the hair before going in?  No?  Well, that has been me for the past two weeks.  I'm just so exhausted that I flat sleep through two alarms, one of which is the aforementioned Great Highland Bagpipes.

I once saw a fellow piper notice someone asleep at one of his concerts and he promptly advised the person sitting next to Sleeping Beauty to check his pulse because the last person that slept through Scottish Bagpipes was actually dead.  Well I'm pretty sure I'm not dead, but I do feel like the undead this morning.  And there is still no coffee to speak of.

Apparently, if the cone shaped coffee filter folds in on itself during the initial stages of the brewing process, that causes the whole operation to go all 3 Mile Island on itself, ruining not only the lovely pot of caffeinated brew, but everything within a 10 foot radius of Mr. Coffee himself.  Who knew?

Anyway, I know this wasn't a very spiritual post, but right now I feel about as spiritual as the bottom side of a Dr. Scholls.  And no, I'm NOT gellin'.  I'll get back to you after the adrenaline has settled from my Top Gun meets Talladega trip into the office, and the caffeine has taken over from Vanilla Biscotti Office Coffee: The Sequel.

I'm off to mop the office.

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